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Thursday, November 29, 2007

year end

It feels as though this year has been too long.

A family member of mine has the theory that years feel progressively shorter as you age because a year becomes a smaller part of your frame of reference; thus a year will feel longer to a 20-year old because he or she only has nineteen other years to compare it with, whereas a year is a much smaller part of an 80-year old's life and will feel shorter as a result.

But this year has simply been too long. I find that things that were tolerable at the beginning of the year are intolerable now. If you want my true opinion about anything, ask me at the end of the year. I have too little energy to be diplomatic.

Of course, the end of the year also brings with it a false sense of jollity. And the inevitable year end function. This year ours will be held at the bosses' house. They've hired a caterer to, um, cater. Somehow, it feels like a step down from last year when we were taken to a show and to a restaurant afterwards. Maybe they feel they spent too much money on us last year. Maybe we embarrassed them. Maybe it's just me, but, as I said, I'm too sick and tired to feign niceness.

I am not looking forward to the party. I despise hypocrisy, in myself and in others. And yet, after the first drink I will find myself being nice to the people I despise and who I wish would disappear from the face of the earth on a daily basis. I will laugh at their stupid jokes and open up to them in ways I would otherwise not even think about. I will find that I am having a good time.

I'm afraid that alcohol makes me a very gullible and likable person.

What a disturbing thought.

Written by I