It frightens me to see what an antisocial person I have become. How and when it happened is a mystery to me. Or is it that I have always been this way?
We have been on holiday for two weeks now, with just about a week more left. The first week of our holiday was spent with The One's sister and her husband. They went to a lot of trouble to to spoil us and I really appreciate their all their efforts. But after the first few days I was unable to express my gratitude in any recognizable way, instead shutting myself out of the company and conversations. I am sure that they think I am a very rude and unthankful person. I wish I knew how to fix that perception.
Our second week has been spent with The One's mother and brother. And exactly the same thing has happened: after the first few days I found myself unable to respond to their hospitality and friendliness. I shut myself out. What makes it so terrible is that I can see the hurt in their eyes. I know they feel that they have done something to offend me.
What I don't know is how to make it better.
Written by I