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Friday, June 20, 2008

nothing


The One is trying to find himself and his life again. Since his breakdown about two months ago he has quit studying radiography. It is simply too stressful and boring. He still works in the medical library at Tuks in the evenings which is a good thing as he works with nice people. He wants to go back to chemistry (he holds a national diploma in analytical chemistry cum laude) and is looking for a job in the field but these kinds of jobs seem to be scarce. Maybe he should work as a volunteer at the SPCA or another kennel since he likes animals (especially dogs) so much.

Science is good for him as it occupies his mind. An unoccupied mind seems to wander into places which can get dark and complicated like a hard boiled universe: “Do not disturb the order of the universe; Life is not worth living; Death is the road to awe; Am I alive? Really alive?; Am I good for I or am I making his life difficult?; We don’t have enough money; I have wasted three and a half years on crappy radiography; Am I insane? Am I mad?”. See, it is best to keep the mind occupied. The One wonders what other people (normal people) think about when they do nothing. Is it possible to think about nothing? What is nothing? Nothing does not exist; not even during sleep.

Written by The One

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