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Saturday, February 21, 2009

early morning blues

I was watching a Coldplay music video on Mtv (the name of the particular video escapes me now), which we switch on to try to drain the noise from the barbarians living around us. I suddenly realised that I was feeling intensely sad; a thing that sometimes happens to me. All the ugliness and sadness of the world dawns upon me in an unexpected and painful way. Listening to Coldplay doesn't make it better.

My eyes filled with tears. Why is there so much pain and grief in this world? Will it ever end? I felt devastated the way you do after watching Brokeback Mountain.

The One was still in bed, playing sleepily with the babies; or rather, trying to catch a last bit of sleep while dodging their wet little mouths and their rancid other little ends as they played rowdily all over the bed. I had a quiet cry by myself, eating cold and dehydrated leftover apple tart with cream that tasted as though it was starting to turn. Sometimes little things like that calm me. I wanted to compose myself before The One saw me; it upsets him when I am not happy. The Red Hot Chili Peppers blared Californication from the television and I was starting to feel a bit better.

Written by I