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Sunday, June 06, 2010

“Stop smoking! It is bad for you!”

Yes, smoking is bad for the body but so good and naais for the soul. We have decided to attempt to stop smoking because The One has started to complain about having chest pains and homeopathic smoker’s cough remedies, while bringing relief, are too expensive to sustain. Nicorette was an option and today we started chewing the rather unsavoury little bits of rubber. They remind me of those dried out little bits of chicken you find in instant soup sachets. I suppose the manufacturer intended them to be tasteless so that soon-to-be-ex-smokers would not binge on them. After my second piece of gum I found myself in our car scavenging for a cigarette that might have gone astray sometime but I could not find any. I ended up with the car’s ashtray in my trembling hands and now we are blissfully sucking on ancient and very dry stompies to sooth our aching souls.

I never thought that my willpower was so weak. When the doctors told my dad many times years ago to stop smoking because he was on the verge of having a stroke or heart attack (which duly happened), I was very angry and even mean to him for not stopping, but now that I am in his position (and I have been smoking for 3 years only; he had smoked for 35 years) I feel ashamed and guilty about being so hard on him. I only now understand why he could not stop the bad habit.

Written by The One


Gabrielle said...

Hi Zach.

I dunno if you remember who I am. Well I'm Gabrielle on Facebook, so please, excuse me for my English mistakes.

Your post touched me. I can understand the way you're feeling. Your guilt and your shame. I've already felt the same.
But you truly don't have to be so hard on yourself. You wished the best for your father, and, in this way, worried about his health. It's normal that you wanted him to stop. Maybe you have been mean to him, but it was not nastiness but worry.
I hope you'll find some appeasement


tbaoo said...

thanks zac - i'm wishing that i can remain off the fags, do not fel guitly though, you're an adult and make your own decisions . it will be right when it's right, popcorn advice comes free from tbaoo - cheers