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Monday, September 06, 2010

out into the world

I had a very interesting weekend. My mom and my sister from the Western Cape (a beautiful place which I miss dearly) came to Gauteng for a visit and to attend my brother’s wedding. My mom is staying for a while but my sister flew up on Friday evening and left yesterday, Sunday. The whole family were together and we all had a good time eating my mom’s famous and very hearty stew.

I battled through a period of anxiety before the wedding as I do not like being surrounded by many people. I have isolated myself to the point that I sometimes think of myself as a hermit. The longest I have stayed in the flat without even going out into the garden was two weeks. Me and my sometimes rather bizarre thoughts.

And then I was suddenly thrown into the world and into the deep end – the wedding. As I said I was very anxious beforehand, having to meet all the new people and as the sort of best man I had to do the ring thing. When we got there I felt like sitting in a corner and just observing for a while but I actually found myself clinging to my mother for company. Then people started talking to me. What a surprise! Some people are actually interested in meeting the strange one in the corner hiding behind his mom. And what was the first thing they asked? “Are you and your brother twins?”. Ahhhhhh! I hate that question but kept my pose and my brother and I were put on display once again. I just went into autopilot and managed not to blush and just smile and answered the twin related questions politely.

I am a thinker and as I am replaying the past weekend in my head I, experience a positive feeling. I actually managed not to die from an anxiety attack and I mingled and talked to people successfully. The most enjoyable thing about the whole wedding was to see all the different kinds of people getting together and having a good time: there were very loud people, reserved people, an obvious alcoholic who only came for the booze, an elderly Indian lady who played a part in the apartheid struggle and wrote a book about it; she is even a friend of Madiba! There was also a female slut, a male slut,  black people, white people, Indian people, a 7de Laan actor who had to leave the show after a week because his Afrikaans is too bad, a very quiet person, a gay Anglican priest and many more. How interesting people can be!

I have learnt two things from this weekend and they are: Don’t think so much. Don’t be scared of all people, stop worrying and let go!

Written by The One