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Sunday, February 13, 2011

housewife


I had a very weird experience yesterday. By chance, the boss wanted The One to work even though this is my weekend off. So, our roles were bizarrely reversed for one day. I know, it sounds exactly like that Disney movie, "Freaky Friday"!

Anyway, I was up early yesterday morning the way a good housewife should. By the time The One got up I had been awake for two hours. I had driven the eight or so kilos at seven o'clock to drop off Geoffrey for his bi-monthly shampoo and shave. He looks so much better. If you ever have a dog that needs shaving, take him or her to The Posh Dog in Villieria, Pretoria. I admit, the place looks a bit crummy from the outside. But they give good service for half the price other salons charge.

So, when The One got up around 8:30, I was finishing cleaning up the place. All I had to do when I got back from dropping him at work at 9:00 was to wash the MOUNTAIN of dirty dishes. As I have mentioned before, when The One works, housework comes to a standstill.

On my way back from dropping him, I stopped at Pick 'n Pay and got milk and cat food. When I got home, I did the dishes, which took forever. I swear, it took me an entire hour! Musing while I did them, I  was astounded when I realised that our roles had been completely reversed. Very weird feeling.

I felt very energetic when I had finally vanquished the dishes, so I did the washing as well. I sorted the dirty clothes on the counter and across the stove. Alfred has the nasty habit of marking dirty washing if left unattended on the floor. He even does the clean washing. Later, when I checked how far the machine's programme was, I smelled sour milk. I decided that I was having a bad trip and ignored it since there was no sour milk within ten yards of our apartment.

Then, later, when chatting to The One as he was taking a smoke break, I smelled scorched fabric. When I investigated, I found that one stove plate had inadvertently been turned to "2", most probably when I had cleaned the stove that morning. Luckily setting "2" is a very low heat. And luckily, the only thing that got singed was the tatty towel we use for a bathmat. Can you imagine what could have happened if I had not been here? The entire place could have gone up in smoke!

I also washed two light towels with the new dark blue single bed fitted sheet we use for disguising the couch. Just look at the waste water - it's practically denim dye. So all our light towels are now tinged with indigo. They all look ancient and filthy. I also discovered that we have no bleach, or I could have fixed the problem.

I took Alfred with me when I collected Geoffrey at 12:00. Then us three took the scenic route back to work to pick up The One at 13:00. On the way back home we had to stop at Pick 'n Pay once more because I had not bought toilet paper before. Now I think that's one thing you can never have enough of. And I had almost let us run out.

So I guess I am not such a good housewife, after all.

Still, I spoiled myself with a sublime Triple Choc Sundae for working so hard. And a 600g container of soft and yummy Gums Galore, budget be damned. Dinner included fresh nuts, rye crackers with cream cheese (Philadelphia) and Thai sweet chili sauce (Wellington's). THERE IS NOTHING BETTER. 'Specially when it includes a beer or two. We favour Windhoek Draught, not least because the bottles are so BIG without making you look like you're a quart-holding alcoholic person, which we are certainly not.

Last night we had a big storm and I took a picture of the thunderbolts.


I do love my little family dearly, even though I can't really look after them properly. It would be unfair to place a pic of just one of them. Geoffrey the Cuddly is already on here, so here are the others:




Queen Elizabeth the Serene













Princess Victoria the Ho' (she's in heat)











Prince Alfred the Stoic











And you know what the two of us look like.

Written by I

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