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Sunday, July 10, 2011

the dream


The Answer I spoke about last week has been delayed, declined and conditionally granted by the respective institutions to which it has been sent. It can't bear thinking about, so I am attempting to block out the entire embarrassing issue. Shattered dreams are so goddamned painful.

I am not being all mysterious on purpose. I just don't want to talk about it.

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The night before last, I had a very intriguing dream. When I was waken from it by the irritating sound of the Phillips clock radio on the bed stand right next to my ear, I made a conscious attempt to remember it because it was so fascinating. I was only partly successful as I can't remember all of the details, but the look and feel as well as the main premise have not evaporated the way dreams usually do.

I wondered if it had significant meaning and, if so, what that meaning would be.

I'm off at some warped tangent again in all probability. Moreover, my mind has been behaving itself strangely of late. I am so forgetful and unfocused. Whether from stress or other more sinister causes, deponent sayeth not.

The Dream

I shall call it Midori, which I have recently learned is supposed to mean "green" in Japanese.

I remember that I was in an institution of some kind, or rather more like a clinic. The clinic was inside a tall building that was painted different bright shades of green. There were other people with me; I remember Mother was there. I don't remember seeing The One in my dream.

Anyway, I was at the clinic for some kind of treatment. I don't recall what was wrong with me. I haven't been sleeping well these three weeks, heartburn and The One's snoring keeping me awake. Maybe that had something to do with the treatment. I should start drinking a teaspoon of bicarb in water again before bed, that's helped for heartburn before.

Where was I? Oh yes, the dream. See what I mean with my mind wandering? So, Mother had had the treatment before me and she was there to support me. The treatment consisted of a very strange contraption. You got into this large green plastic tube that spiraled down the centre of the building. A thin stream of water was pumped down the tube, just enough to carry you along. Almost like those water park rides.

When the tube entered the foundations of the building, it stopped abruptly and you were ejected into a large space with no floor or walls and you just fell for a while. It was like outer space without the planets or stars. Just pitch black nothing. And it was falling, you didn't float. I don't remember how they retrieved you from your fall when the treatment was over.

I was getting ready to enter the tube when a sister came to give me an injection. It was a small amount of a liquid that looked like red wine. I had been given the injection because the woman that had been treated right before it was my turn had had a bad reaction. She'd even had to be resuscitated. The medication was supposed to stop that from happening to me.

Then I was in front of the tube, ready to get in. I wore a fluorescent orange life preserver and a pale yellow pair of swimming trunks. At that exact moment I remember the Phillips shattering the dream into millions of sharp splinters like a smashed mirror. How's that for alliteration!

I must have killed the beeping irritation for a while and could have drifted back into the dream, but my memory stops at this point. I suspect there was more because I think my recollection of the treatment itself, the falling to nowhere, to be more memory than imagination.

So, what do you think? Any meaning in there?

Written by I

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