Blog Archive

Thursday, August 18, 2011


I am going to be complaining, so if you don't have the stomach for it, you are welcome to skip this post.

And if you are my boss, best not to read on.

I hope someone has noticed that I am posting more often.

That's not what I want to complain about. I want to vent about my goddamned job again.

These last months have been utter crap. Between the long weekend of GNR training (the weekend before last) and, last Saturday, paying back the time taken off work to go sign our house's papers, I haven't had a weekend to myself in ages. Last week wasn't even my Saturday to work, which means that coming Saturday will be mine and there is no-one to bail me out. The weekend after that, as well as the two thereafter will be GNR again with me sitting at an Incredible Connection to hand out bally web design flyers.

So, maybe I will have the weekend of the 24th of September off again. That's more than a month from now. A Gregorian calendar month has between 28 and 31 days. This particular one we are examining, not a calendar month, has 37 days.

On top of that work is just incredibly more hectic than usual. I am being forced to bend in all kinds of ways that I am not comfortable with. Someone Knows Just How Hard To Bang The Dishes Without Destroying Them.

The goddamned work phone rings all of the time and everyone wants everyting right fucking now. I am so fed up; physically and emotionally DRAINED. It really feels like I am the only one actually working there. Today, I had to leave my design work until 16:30 because I had printing to do all day.

Here is just a little taste of what the 10 hours and 13 minutes of my work day consisted of:

1. Finally dragged my tired ass out of bed at an ungodly hour (06:58am) to get ready to open the shop. I had been awake at 4:00am, worrying about cash and about work, finally dropping off again right before the first alarm sounded around 06:15am.

2. Arrived at work at 7:32 which is Too Late. Did the invoicing, updated the work in progress report for the daily production meeting.

3. Printed four car magnets on the Roland before my first cup of coffee, which I only drank at 11:00 when The One wanted to make me some fresh coffee.

4. Presided over said production meeting (07:58am - 13 minutes later than Instructed).

5. Ate some shit that was poured upon me from On High. Felt a little bilious and had heartburn.

6. Printed 138 manuals with 40 double sided pages each. That's 11,040 impressions.

7. Took 20 minutes to explain how to bind those manuals.

8. Printed 640 business cards. That's 64 more impressions.

9. Printed an odd little client's wire-bound user manual for his new video camera. He was absolutlely desperate for it, sending his houseboy to collect as soon as I phoned him to inform him that it was ready. Had some infuriating trouble with the printing and wasted 10 minutes to figure out Acrobat Reader's mysterious double sided feature. Wasted paper and toner as well.
Paused to wonder why the little pervert had to know how to use his video camera so desperately in the first place.

10. Printed some "urgent" brochures and battled with the slippery glossy paper the client demanded.The Bizhub C6501 joined in the fray and kept jamming.

11. Had answered the phone exactly 12 times. Had helped certifiable morons at the counter exactly 5 times. Current time in my day: 9:03am. Time since starting work: 1 hour 31 minutes. Time to go: at least 8 hours 42 minutes.

So, as I said, just a small taste: a 1½ hour slice of my rotten day is what you've had. Total time spent at that green and orange hell today = as said, 10 hours 13 minutes. No lunch, bar the 8¾ minutes I stole to have a fag or two outside.

There is simply not enough space to list the rest of my day, but I am sure that if you use your imagination to its full extent you will begin to fathom the hellish depths in which I daily dwell. A hell that consists of bosses and clients toting vulgar, sadistic deadlines.

Yes, about complaining.

Thanks to a very special chemical substance called C2H4O, though, writing this post at 21:05 tonight makes all of this seem somewhat fuzzy and inconsequential. Distanced.

Oh, and do listen to Don't Stop The Party by The Black Eyed Peas. Seriously. And then Party Anthem by LMFAO. And any ABBA you can find except Fernando. And Play Guess The Tune with a loved One.

I am deeply aware that others are having at least as bad a time as I am. Some are much worse off. I have all the sympathy in the world, dear ones. I wish it was within my power to release you from your painful bonds.

Just as a parting thought: tomorrow I have to ask my boss for more time off to go sign some additional papers at an entirely different set of attorneys.

Written by I