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Thursday, March 29, 2012

scooters and clairvoyance



This morning when I heaved myself out of bed at 6:00, I discovered that it was raining hard and it looked as though it had been raining most of the night. Sharing the house with three cats, two of them all hormonal and wild, take it out of me and I slept like the dead. Especially with the added entertainment provided by a female Rottweiler pup who’s just gone into heat for the very first time, rendering all male dogs in the vicinity lustful zombies. The sky was suitably dark and broody and I drove all the way to work in heavy rain. To calm my simmering road rage I listened to Brandi Carlile’s wonderful Josephine. I calms me down and I became downright teary and all.

“...take me back, Josephine
to that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don’t know who...”

For some reason the song made me consider current celestial affairs. It seems it is a good time to be an Arian. Tonight I actually read my horoscope in a magazine (oh so naughty)... even though I don’t really believe all the woman sees, it is interesting to see how accurate she sometimes is. The One is a Cancerian and our celestial fortunes seem to be quite in sync at the moment.

Which reminds me: For those of you who don’t know and those of you who shockingly forget, and those who sadly don’t care: My birthday is next Monday – 2nd April. I shall become a staggering 38 years old. Please don’t send flowers; keep those for the funeral.

Anyway, according to the clairvoyant lady, these words can be used to describe my character at the moment (I left out the three inaccurate ones for fun):

  • Warrior
  • Winner takes all
  • Hunter
  • Self-starter
  • Troubleshooter
  • Wearing the pants
  • Number One
  • Leader of the pack (more like a sad hero in a film, I think)
  • In your face
  • I want it yesterday
  • Action!

So, all esoteric poop aside, the scooter in this post’s title refers to an incident with a certifiable guy on the road this morning. He had one of these


and he drove it at exactly 15km/h (9.3mph) down the middle of the road, anyone else be darned. He didn’t wear anything to protect him from the pelting rain. As he crossed a very busy intersection, the minute scooter gave a pop and stopped. Time froze as everyone watched the man’s actions in sheer disbelief. He bent over right there and fiddled with the 2cc engine, ignoring all of us. After a few seconds he got the toy going and proudly drove off. The intersection slowly unfroze and returned to the noisy hub it normally is.

I’m sure that guy was some deranged Gemini.

Written by I

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