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Saturday, February 23, 2013


I guess you just can’t be a citizen of this goddamned backward country without being personally affected by crime.

On a naive little trip to the shops this afternoon I was approached by two shifty-eyed young black men as I parked the car. We're brought up to be wary of strangers over here but I stupidly had the window wide open because of the scorching heat and I unexpectedly found a very sharp knife stuck right in the centre of my sternum while still strapped to the driver's seat.

I was informed in no uncertain terms that I would be stabbed and stabbed again if I tried anything funny.

My phone sat in a compartment in front of the gear lever and the two expertly scanned the interior of the car, spotting the device instantly. Fortunately I’d stuck my wallet in a slot in the door where they couldn’t see it, even though they were both inside the car up to the waist.

The air was thick with rancid sweat.

In the street cars passed; people walked right by on the sidewalk. No one noticed or cared about the everyday drama that was unfolding right in front of their eyes.

The robbers demanded my phone, again stating they'd stab me if I didn't hand it over. I suppose they wanted money as well but could't see any. On top of that I'm pretty sure they wanted the entire car.

It suddenly dawned upon my feeble self that it was in serious trouble. My right hand instinctively glided to the ignition to try and start the car so I could simply drive away. One of them saw the movement and grabbed my hand while the other twisted the key out of the ignition without even bothering to press the safety button. Then he leaned over the steering wheel and snatched away my phone.

All the while I never noticed that I’d actually managed to start the car and that the engine was running.

In the distance a police van passed the tableau and the two criminals pulled their torsos smoothly out of the car, nonchalantly walking off with their prize. I weakly fumbled on the floor where the keys had fallen and stuck the mangled metal back in the ignition. I tried to turn it and only noticed that the engine was already running when the starter made a grinding noise.

My legs were really wobbly but I found a gear and drove away. My only wish was to get back home to The One as quickly as possible. There I’d feel myself a little safer.

Insurance? That's for pessimists. It'll be a while before I have a proper mobile phone again. Upgrade's only due in bloody December.

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