No, the post photo is not some random fetish being explored. Read on and you'll get the entire obscene picture.
There the two of us us were last night, having an innocent fag in the bathroom because it was still raining when, with an almighty snap our cheap plastic bathroom chair lost a leg from under me and I was flat on the floor.
I'm pretty sure my fall was accompanied by a thunderbolt.
Still, that wasn't the weirdest thing. I found myself and everything around me being SHOWERED with water from a hole in the wall.
I'm afraid I was a little shell-shocked and just lay there on my back, enjoying my Titanic flashback. The One, however, retained his sanity and ran squealing outside to shut off the main water supply.
I waited for a while before I unfroze and got out of the pool of water. My love was back and we discovered that I'd neatly broken off the little elbow-shaped pipe that supplies the loo with water on my way down.
It is very fortunate that our phones are waterproof because they were soaked to bits but survived intact. We did lose a roll of loo paper as well as our breaths when mopping up before going outside for a fag in our drenched clothes.
I had a bit of frozen anxiety under the carport before having a natural wash using the leftover cold water from the garden hose.
Today The One, through painful trial and error found the best way to stop the flow: use a wooden dowel and three condoms.
Just until we figure out what to do next.
Written by I