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Thursday, November 16, 2017

bad blue boy


Last week I discovered a delightful local radio station by chance in the work's delivery vehicle when a convoluted delivery was forced on me. The station is named "Bosveld Stereo" and the large Levina's radio was loudly tuned to it at 107.5 FM when I turned the key in the ignition.

Pleasantly surprised, I rediscovered long-forgotten songs from my early childhood and the trip was made that much more bearable. Who remembers "Sorry, I'm a Lady" from Baccara? How about "Endless Road" from the Time Bandits? And "Take Me Back" by Geraldine?

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Over the weekend I tuned into the same station for some background music (on our much appreciated superb quality hand-me-down home stereo) and on Sunday night while slouching on the couch after a long, hot day in the garden, heard one of my high school favourites - "I Totally Miss You" by Bad Boys Blue.

I am still fascinated by the power music has to transport my mind to a specific time in my life.

Now I guess it's a sad thing that those bad boys were one of my favourites during high school but there is just something about their music that still controls an emotional flood switch in my mind. I was reminded of my matric year, 1992, and another one of their songs that is contained in the soundtrack of a very blue time in my life.

You see, there was this boy I knew in high school. His name was Paul Coetzee and from the very first time I laid eyes on him I was consumed by the most enormous crush. My school divided pupils into classes alphabetically according to the first letter of their surname. Since his surname started with the letter before mine, we always ended up in the same class. He was also in the school choir and his position was right behind me in the bass section. I remember always leaning back slightly so that I could feel him touch my back throughout the course of choir practices... and even performances.

We were never friends and during a casual group conversation once he made it pretty clear what the thought of "faggots" and the things he would do to one of those if they ever made a pass at him.

Still, the heart wants what it wants.

Close to the conclusion of my school career and throughout final exams, I sensed that the end was nigh and I started listening obsessively to a specific Bad Boys Blue song. Over and over I played it on my Walkman, rewinding the tape when the song was over for just one more listen.

Bad Boys Blue - Save Your Love

It started one night in Milano
A candle-light dinner, Italian style
We danced - she whispered "Ti amo" 
A morning came, and we had to say:
Good-bye - so hold me once more
Good bye - and kiss me one more time
Just one more time

Save your love
Until I will return
Let the flames of fire burn
In your heart forever
Save your love
Don´t give it someone new
Everything is up to you
Till I'm back forever

She gave me one night of devotion
A fire of love was burning inside
I couldn't escape my emotions
And I nearly died when we had to say:
Good-bye - I want you to stay
Good-bye - so please, come back one day
Come back some day

Save your love
Until I will return
Let the flames of fire burn
In your heart forever
Save your love
Don´t give it someone new
Everything is up to you
Till I'm back forever

I´m so in love with you
The first time I feel this way
I promise - I´ll wait for you

Such anguish! After five years of almost daily contact, the thought of never seeing Paul again crushed me into the ground and I am still not sure how I survived that blow. I guess reading this excellent book helped a lot.

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Watching the rediscovered music video now, though extremely cheesy, still takes me right back to that teenage anguish.


Luckily The One will be home soon to nurture and calm me the way he does.

Written by I

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